Being Sacred + Sexy is a Spiritual Practice

Let’s have a little heart-to-heart, shall we? If you’re anything like me—a spiritual seeker who also happens to be a proud gay man—you’ve probably wrestled (maybe in the sheets?) with the question: Can I fully embrace both my sexuality and my spirituality? The answer is a resounding YES!

For too long, we’ve been told that sexuality and spirituality exist on opposite sides of some cosmic tug-of-war. We’ve been handed messages—by religion, by society—that our desires are something to tame or transcend if we want to be "good," or "holy." But let me tell you, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes. It’s an essential part of your sacred design.

So, how do we lovingly weave together the sensual and the sacred? Here are a few heart-centered practices that have worked for me—and might just spark something for you.

Reclaim Your Body as Sacred Ground

First things first: this body? Yours. Mine. These beautiful, strong, tender, fierce bodies we walk around in? They are temples. Sacred ground. Every inch, from head to (ahem) toes. That might look like moving your body in ways that feel joyful—dancing, stretching, shaking it out like nobody’s watching (or maybe like everyone’s watching, depending on the mood). It could be choosing to speak lovingly to your reflection in the mirror. And yes, it can absolutely mean embracing your sexuality as a sacred expression rather than something to hide or be ashamed of.

Sacred Touch, Sacred Intention

Intention changes everything. Whether you’re holding someone’s hand, sharing an embrace, or exploring deeper intimacy, what if you approached that touch as an act of blessing? Imagine your hands as conduits of love and healing. Feel the energy moving. Sexual energy is creative energy. It’s life force. Call it chi, prana, or Eros—this energy is the juice that creates worlds. Use it consciously, and it becomes a spiritual practice all on its own.

Martyrdom of St. Sebastian by Il Sodoma (1525): A Christian thirst trap

Erotic as Ecstatic

Many ancient spiritual traditions saw sex as a path to God. I’m talking about traditions like Tantra, Taoism, and even some early Christian mystics who described their union with the Divine in language that sounds… well, pretty steamy. Pleasure can be a portal. Breath, presence, and connection during sex can lead you to states of transcendence and bliss. You don’t have to be in an ashram to experience oneness with the universe—you can be in the arms of someone you love (or like… a lot), fully present, heart open, soul engaged.

Ritualize Your Sensuality

Create rituals that honor your sexuality as sacred. Light candles. Set intentions. Meditate before intimacy. Cleanse your space. Invite Spirit in. This isn’t about making things stiff and ceremonial (unless you’re into that sort of thing—no judgment!); it’s about creating a container where you feel held, seen, and safe to explore all that you are. It can be playful, tender, wild—whatever feels authentic to you.

Forgive & Liberate Yourself

This one’s tender. Many of us carry wounds from growing up in spaces where our sexuality was shamed or erased. Part of integrating our spirituality and sexuality is offering ourselves deep compassion. Forgiveness. Liberation. You are not broken. You never were. Let that truth land. You are whole. You are holy. Right here, right now.

At the end of the day, our sexuality isn’t a side note in our spiritual journey—it’s a chapter, a song, maybe even a whole book. We were never meant to live split in two, trying to shove parts of ourselves into separate boxes. We are here to live integrated, embodied, radiant lives.

You, my friend, are sacred. You are sensual. And you are a walking, breathing, heart-beating expression of Divine Love in action. Whether you’re meditating in lotus position, dancing shirtless at Pride, or whispering sweet nothings to your lover, you are home.

How to integrate the sensual with the sacred is one of the topics we'll be discussing at my Celebrating the Divine Within half-day mini-retreat on April 5. For more info and to register at the Unity San Francisco website: https://unitysf.com/celebrating-the-divine-within/